Well, I've put off this post long enough...

This is one of those posts that I KNOW I need to post, that I WANT to post, but that I've been avoiding because I'd have to dive deep into my own head & heart to write it. You know what I mean? This one will be emotionally taxing for me, and so I've been putting it off since Monday.

Emma's been bugging me pretty regularly for a month or two now to get her hair cut. And, well, the girl NEEDED it in a bad way. Her hair would get in the way when I would tuck in her shirt. It was OUT of control long. I don't blame her for wanting a cut.

So, on Monday, she mentioned it again that morning. I decided today was the day... no more delaying. I realized that she had at least a foot of hair that could be chopped. I realized that would be plenty long to send off to Locks of Love should she be willing to do it. So, I mentioned it to her. I tried to explain to her that there are many children in the world that get sick and lose their hair. She didn't quite understand just what I meant. She looked at me like I had three heads. I brought her to the computer and navigated to the Locks of Love website. I began to show her the pictures of the kiddos that had lost their hair. Then, I showed her pictures of the people that had donated their hair. I showed her pictures of the kiddos in their wigs to show what was done with the hair.

Then, I went to the My Pictures folder on my computer. I navigated to a folder called "Amy's old family pics." I opened it, and I began to show her the photographs of when I was a little, little girl. I showed her pictures of me, my sister, and my two brothers. I showed her pictures of my brother Ryan when he was left without any hair from the chemo. She never asked what happened to him. I'm not sure I was at all prepared for it if she had asked, so maybe I'm relieved she didn't. Ryan was five years old when he died from cancer. My Emma is five years old. It struck me like a ton of bricks.

You know, I was the youngest of the bunch, so I honestly have almost no memories of Ryan that are my own. I've heard stories, and I see pictures. I wish I had more.

But, as a young mother myself, I cannot even begin to imagine the reality of LOSING MY FIVE YEAR OLD. Five. Years. Old. I can hardly remember my life before her. Gosh...

And, so, Emma wanted to do it. In the month of Ryan's birthday and also the month marking his death, we trucked off to get her hair cut. It's pretty miniscule in the realm of things to do for people. But, I guess it just felt right, meant to be. And, so, it makes my heart feel full, and it makes me daily grateful for the health of my children & my family. That is the thing I'm most thankful for this Thanksgiving season. Hands down.

So, of course I documented the day with photos. Here are a few shots before the haircut to show the length:
A cute one of Emma & Maya.
Emma & Daddy... you can DEFINITELY see how long her hair is here!
And, here she is with her ponytail:
A few "after" pictures: