A lot to catch up on...
Well, I've been putting off this blog for a while, obviously. It's been over a month. In that time, I've celebrated Christmas, visited my brother in California again, celebrated New Years, celebrated Heather & Curt's birthdays, and lost my Nana. It's that last thing that's kept me away. I knew I wanted to and needed to blog something about it, but I just don't like to sit down with my own thoughts sometimes. You know?
I just want to say thanks for all of your prayers & good thoughts for myself & my family as we've gone down this difficult path with my Nana. Even though we had time to prepare, I think I wasn't even over the initial shock that she was sick in the first place. It just doesn't seem right. I know that I should be thankful that we had time to say goodbye, and I am. But, I still have to say that I'm incredibly saddened that we lost her, not to mention angry that she even got sick. Stages of grief, anyone? Except, I'm stuck on anger. And I have been. For a while now.
But, that's not what I want to say... I just got sidetracked. I want to just remember the joy and, truth be told, sometimes frustration that she brought into our lives. Her personality was larger than life! She was very much an Italian woman. She was always so passionate one way or another... it's like she felt things to a greater magnitude than normal people. I think I got a little bit of that from her, actually. I'm emotional... whether it be great joy & happiness or a deep hurt, I feel it to my core.
The thing I'll remember most about Nana is how she was always, ALWAYS willing to just laugh, and laugh hard. Her laugh was infectious. She never concerned herself with "acting her age." Not that she wasn't mature or anything... she just had fun. I remember when she got on a big ol' trampoline and jumped and laughed. Seriously... she laughed hysterically the whole time she was jumping. That was the summer of '96. She was almost 62 then. Good times. And, every visit with her was riddled with laughing or occasionally a little drama. But, that's okay. I'll miss her... drama & all.
They say she was about 16 years old here:
Love, love, LOVE this:
This is my Nana and Grampy. He deserves a whole blog of his own... truly. I've missed him for many, many years now.
This is my most favorite picture of my Nana of all time. She had this framed in her house for several years. I just love it.
And, me & Nana the summer after I graduated high school. This is the summer that she jumped on that trampoline.
You know... I just really feel like we should have had at least another ten years with her. It's crazy because I had GREAT grandparents into adulthood. Notice that's plural! Now? Now I only have one grandparent left. I've lost too many, too young. I'm just so tired of all the losses. I really am. Can I say "uncle" now? I give up.
I'd like to end this post here. I just don't know that I have the wit to do the rest of this blog justice. But, I've been a terrible blogger and a terrible blogging mom. A month's worth of time has passed in my kids' lives without me documenting what's gone on. And, believe me, there's a lot. Most recently (maybe I'll work backward... I don't know...), Emma marked a rite of passage. You know EVERY girl has done this at least once, if not multiple times. Ladies out there... it's happened to you, hasn't it?
That's the sort of thing that happens while mom's at Wal Mart, which is exactly what happened this time. Curt called me assuring me that I'd have to cut it out of her hair. He was all worked up and grouchy. Men just don't have the mad hair detangling skills for this. Or the patience to try. They'd rather take scissors to it. I told him to leave it for me, and I'd handle it when I got home. I got home and laughed hysterically, truth be told. It was funny. Look at her. Then, I went and got my camera. She was NOT too keen on having pictures taken. I told her that if you go and get a brush stuck in your hair, you HAVE to have a picture taken. That's the rules. She cried. I'm a mean mom. I'm okay with that.
Anyway, a couple minutes after I put the camera down, I freed the brush. And, there was NO involvement from the scissors. Men. If they had any experience with this sort of thing at all they wouldn't be so dramatic, right? I mean, I've had a brush stuck in my hair a time or two (or fourteen). Why do you think my house is round brush free?
I just want to say thanks for all of your prayers & good thoughts for myself & my family as we've gone down this difficult path with my Nana. Even though we had time to prepare, I think I wasn't even over the initial shock that she was sick in the first place. It just doesn't seem right. I know that I should be thankful that we had time to say goodbye, and I am. But, I still have to say that I'm incredibly saddened that we lost her, not to mention angry that she even got sick. Stages of grief, anyone? Except, I'm stuck on anger. And I have been. For a while now.
But, that's not what I want to say... I just got sidetracked. I want to just remember the joy and, truth be told, sometimes frustration that she brought into our lives. Her personality was larger than life! She was very much an Italian woman. She was always so passionate one way or another... it's like she felt things to a greater magnitude than normal people. I think I got a little bit of that from her, actually. I'm emotional... whether it be great joy & happiness or a deep hurt, I feel it to my core.
The thing I'll remember most about Nana is how she was always, ALWAYS willing to just laugh, and laugh hard. Her laugh was infectious. She never concerned herself with "acting her age." Not that she wasn't mature or anything... she just had fun. I remember when she got on a big ol' trampoline and jumped and laughed. Seriously... she laughed hysterically the whole time she was jumping. That was the summer of '96. She was almost 62 then. Good times. And, every visit with her was riddled with laughing or occasionally a little drama. But, that's okay. I'll miss her... drama & all.
They say she was about 16 years old here:
Love, love, LOVE this:This is my Nana and Grampy. He deserves a whole blog of his own... truly. I've missed him for many, many years now.This is my most favorite picture of my Nana of all time. She had this framed in her house for several years. I just love it.And, me & Nana the summer after I graduated high school. This is the summer that she jumped on that trampoline.You know... I just really feel like we should have had at least another ten years with her. It's crazy because I had GREAT grandparents into adulthood. Notice that's plural! Now? Now I only have one grandparent left. I've lost too many, too young. I'm just so tired of all the losses. I really am. Can I say "uncle" now? I give up.I'd like to end this post here. I just don't know that I have the wit to do the rest of this blog justice. But, I've been a terrible blogger and a terrible blogging mom. A month's worth of time has passed in my kids' lives without me documenting what's gone on. And, believe me, there's a lot. Most recently (maybe I'll work backward... I don't know...), Emma marked a rite of passage. You know EVERY girl has done this at least once, if not multiple times. Ladies out there... it's happened to you, hasn't it?
That's the sort of thing that happens while mom's at Wal Mart, which is exactly what happened this time. Curt called me assuring me that I'd have to cut it out of her hair. He was all worked up and grouchy. Men just don't have the mad hair detangling skills for this. Or the patience to try. They'd rather take scissors to it. I told him to leave it for me, and I'd handle it when I got home. I got home and laughed hysterically, truth be told. It was funny. Look at her. Then, I went and got my camera. She was NOT too keen on having pictures taken. I told her that if you go and get a brush stuck in your hair, you HAVE to have a picture taken. That's the rules. She cried. I'm a mean mom. I'm okay with that.Anyway, a couple minutes after I put the camera down, I freed the brush. And, there was NO involvement from the scissors. Men. If they had any experience with this sort of thing at all they wouldn't be so dramatic, right? I mean, I've had a brush stuck in my hair a time or two (or fourteen). Why do you think my house is round brush free?
posted by AmyC at
5:13 PM
11 Comments:
Amy, I know this was hard to do, I'm glad you did it though. You have lost so many more close family members than I had at your age! Loss and grief are no strangers to you, unfortunately.
And only you could take us from tears to laughter!! I'm sure Emma was horrified that you took her picture - poor baby :)
/hugs for you Amy. Your Nana was absolutely gorgeous, and it looks like you resemble her quite a bit.
Amy,
I'm soo sorry for your loss. No matter how long you have to prepare to say goodbye to someone you love, it just never seems long enough. The gravity of not seeing their smile again, or smell their laundry detergent, or in your case hear that laugh again, is hard to bare. But I don't think that's the end. Someday, she'll be there and you will be able to squeeze the stuffing right out of her again. There's joy to come eh? Thank heavens for that :} My prayers go out to all of your family and I hope that you will be comforted and snuggled much.
All my best
-amy
Amy! I've really missed your posts.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your nana. She was really beautiful. I think you look like her. Really. I can definitely, definitely see a resemblance :) especially in the pictures of her at 16.
Poor Emma. I would laugh too at my own daughter, but I remember how scary it was the first time it happened- you really do think you'll have to cut it out. But the good thing is since it's happened once she won't be scared next time. Hopefully.
So sorry to hear about the loss of your Nana. I love reading your stories about her.
The pictures of Emma made me LOL! I remember doing that as a child, pretending it was a curling iron. I didn't get so lucky and ended up having to get a hair cut!
I'm so sorry about the loss of your Nana. She was so beautiful and she sounds like she was an amazing person.
Oh, yes, I've had the comb thing happen to me. Probably when I was your daughter's age. I'm sure my daughter will get a brush caught in her hair too. Thank goodness your husband didn't take the scissors to it!!
Thank you for sharing about your Nana. You have her eyes.
And I LOVE the brush. LOVE it! I really like the look on her face, "I hate that camera," it seems to say.
I'm so sorry about your Nana. Gosh you favor her. What great photos you have of her. I was really close to my Grandma and it was bitter sweet when she went to live with Jesus. I stopped and prayed for you the minute I finished your blog.
And yes, I still get my brush stuck sometimes.
Don’t recall how I got to your Blog. Obviously, it was for a reason! I will follow his direction and leave a comment.
We lost our Nana several years ago. As I read your words, I am able to understand your feelings SO WELL. I am thankful for so many that comforted me during that time and see you have those too. I know there are no words anyone can speak or write that are sufficient to fill the void. However, I know that our heavenly father is with you and provides what others are incapable of doing. Call upon him and he will provide.
May God bless you and your family!
What a great way to preserve someone's memory. So beautiful and emotional....
And what a light-hearted ending! I can definitely remember doing that once (or twice). When your little you think it will never come out EVER! ha ha.
Great photos as usual!
That is nice to definitely find a site where the blogger knows what they are talking about.
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